Description

The pineapple is a fruit with an agent. Somehow this spiky tropical monstrosity, which takes two years to grow and will literally digest your mouth while you eat it, convinced humanity it deserved to be the universal symbol of hospitality. In colonial America, the wealthy rented them for dinner parties. Rented. A fruit became a luxury prop, displayed until it rotted, occasionally even passed from party to party like some agricultural Ponzi scheme. Its reputation never recovered from pizza. Mention pineapple in any food context and watch adults become unhinged about whether sweet belongs on savory, as if the Italian-American invention of pepperoni pizza was itself handed down at Sinai. The pineapple didn't ask for this culture war, it's a compound fruit minding its own enzymatic business. Botanically, it's an overachiever: a merger of dozens of individual fruits that fused together and developed a shared crown, like a tiny delicious monarchy. The bromelain it contains is so aggressive it's used as a meat tenderizer, which means every bite is technically a mutual consumption event. Delicious, divisive, and determinedly spiky - the pineapple remains unapologetic.